After a quick road trip to Montreal I’ve made it back home with 5 days to spare before I move to the Kootenays to attempt to lead a stable life for a year. I’m fantasizing about tapestries to be hung, and which vegetables to grow in my first garden. I’m mentally preparing to create an oh-so hipster studio space to work in. My season’s pass to board all winter in the mountains is whispering my name like a sexy grande, pumpkin, soy latte from the 30’s would whisper a lullaby into it’s child’s ear.
As I write this I’m watching the Banksy documentary on Netflix.
I also learned a valuable lesson last night about the how the desire for success can be an artist’s demise – watching the movie While We’re Young on Netflix. Thank you Ben Stiller.
Netflix binge, I know. What do you expect from a gal who’s been on the road for 5 months?
I want to make art. I know that I over think whether or not I can make a difference with my art. I worry that I might undersell myself, or not put in the work that one would need to achieve that goal. I’m concerned that my desire to make a difference is selfish, and that it’s my own desire for success that’s already creeping in. If I don’t have the drive though, then where will the need to create come from? Is there an artist’s thesis that I’m exploring?
This is why I’m so excited to have a studio space. A place to put all of these questions in little boxes of paint, and onto pieces of paper, smeared across canvas and written into plays. Worked through, physically, via hula hoop practice. (My fantasy studio is multi-functional, if you were wondering.)
There’s just as much chance that I’ll set up my easel, that my mother bought me, in my future living room and then forget about it. I may get consumed by work like so many humans are, I might even get swept away into Netflix instead of living out this dream of mine.
When I left for last adventure I left with the intention to work on an art project: I’m Running for Prime Minister. I started out fairly strong, I interviewed people and followed leads but the more I followed into those leads the more I decided I wanted less to do with the negativity surrounding Stephen Harper, and more do to with surfing and living a life of virtually no responsibilities. Thankfully, that’s a problem I can leave in the past. Now I’m only concerned with keeping the ever-so-charming Justin Treadeau accountable. “We just gotta keep him accountable!”; I’m hearing this statement on repeat from all my politically active, spiritually awakened, coffee shop friends, university educated friends, self-educated friends, and working friends, while we all sit in our favorite coffee shops and drink sexy pumpkin soy lattes, or whatever. I actually ended up not doing very much with that project at all.
I could spend all day talking about all the shitty things the government is doing, about how capitalism is the root problem of all things, how we need to open our eyes to things like the war on drugs and the genocide of aboriginals, and/or about how tangible life is one universal collective made of stardust that intangible, man-made devices like money intrude on and steal away from our existence BUT what am I actually doing about that? Sitting in my warm home eating Quaker oatmeal sqaures (containing fibre to reduce my cholesterol…?), typing out my random thoughts and watching Netflix. I mean, I could take the nihilist approach and say that there’s nothing I can do about it, or a communist approach and say we need to wait for the collective to come together, but I’m telling you man; the starfish story can really teach us a lesson. Each piece or part of universal-collectiveness, that I’d like to call life, is responsible for themselves. Each piece makes the whole, and all of those pieces are worth the world.
If atoms weren’t all working on their own to keep themselves healthy and active then what exactly could they create? Maybe they would create something negative or nonphysical, like money. Maybe they wouldn’t create anything at all, and be left stagnant. What is life without movement? To the best of my understanding we are all stardust, and if that is true then whatever makes me, “me” is the same whatever makes atoms “atoms”? And if I am the same, then should I not be behaving similarly? Should I not then be working on keeping myself healthy and active? Do onto others what you would have done onto thyself, right? So, if I can keep my mind and my body and whatever else I have the steering for (relationships, surroundings, use of time etc.) healthy and happy then I’ll be keeping the atoms that make up “me” healthy and happy and therefore will create a golden spiral of healthy and happy movement, called life.
You create your own reality, dudes.
This is why I’ve been calling myself a HOPEAHOLIC. This is why I work hard every day to be optimistic. This is why a smile shared with a stranger means so much to me. This is why I let myself fall in love over and over again, and why I strive to keep my inner pixie self sparkling and learning.
I suppose that’s why I’m fantasizing about an in-home studio. I suppose that’s why even if this room dedicated to my inner pixie ends up collecting dust instead of inspiring life changing art projects that will inspire others to strive their own strife, or to choose their own happiness – it will have been worth it to have tried.
I would like to ask a favor of you, my friends. Stay inspired. What keeps you happy and healthy? Is it researching the web? Is it shopping? Is it jogging? Is it writing, or painting? Singing? Working? Babies? Puppies? Futurama? Art galleries? Sleeping? Would you want your atoms to be in the relationships that you’re in? Would you make a positive difference if you could instead of a negative difference? When we surround ourselves by people who are inspired the more inspired we will be in turn. In golden spirals, inspired. So, I’d like to ask you that favor.
It’s purely selfish. You can stay uninspired if you want to, too. I just want to be surrounded by oodles of people following their passions.
Dream on dreamers. Dream on.